


Problem Stuck: Private detectives

by Sandentwins



Series: Tales of Earth and Alternia [7]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M, Murder Mystery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:43:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sandentwins/pseuds/Sandentwins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the first time of his career, Karkat Vantas has to investigate on a murder with the help of the victim's husband, John Egbert.<br/>But who could have killed Rose Lalonde without any motive?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Murder in Altownia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place in 1993, as the Portals are almost all closed and some trolls decide to stay in the human world, in the now frequentely used settings of Altownia. Kanira, a character from [Like Angels of a Feather](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1779610), is Problem Sleuth's brother and Karkat's uncle.

Your name is Karkat Vantas. You're one of the best detectives in the town. Solicitations for your service are numerous in quantity. Compensation, adequate.  
The streets were dark in this summer night. No cars were troubling this perfect silence. The moon was hid behind the clouds,and a cool breeze was whistling through the tree leaves. It's such a perfect night for staying outside,sat on a chair,eating some candy corn. Just what you're doing now.  
You closed your eyes peacefully. Though nobody needed you for the last two days,you were proud of your job. It was very cool to be a problem sleuth. You were one of the most important people in Altownia. But all you do is saving ladies from locked doors or neighbourhood problems. Good thing they pay well. You took a piece of candy corn and let it slowly melt in your mouth. Even Eridace Dick couldn't ruin your pleasure,though he's the biggest asshole you've ever known.  
Suddenly your phone rang. Dammit. 

''Karkat Vantas talking,professional detective,what can I do for you?"

Seems like this hysterical Marydame has still problems. You took your keys and some candy corn with you. Aaaaaaaaand you're gone for another mission.

\---

Pfoo. Exhausting to endure those ladies stuck in their rooms. If you ever knew this,you'll sure work as a Hamtruck driver. Speaking of ham,and with forty boondollars in your pocket,you're suddenly in the mood for some...  
*Riiiiiingriiiiing*  
Dang. Sometimes you just want to throw this phone by the window and eat your sweets quietly.  
But...you suddenly had a bad feeling. You answered the call.

"Karkat Vantas talking,profes-

-Please,sir,come quick! There's been a murder!"

You stayed in a shocked silence. A murder?

"Wait,could you explain?

-I found a dead woman in my building,and saw somebody escape the scene.

-Okay,I'm coming."

You hung up. Finally some serious buisness! Eridace Dick will be so jealous. Quickly you put your hat on your head,grab the sweets bag and after hesitation,your key. Or your gun,whatever.  
It's not for nothing you're the top problem sleuth (to be) in the town.


	2. A new assistant

You parked your car on Frog Street. Here's where the crime scene is.  
Seeing your famous hat,a man approaches you.

"-Mr. Vantas?

-Yes,it's me. You've called me,right?

-Yes. My name is Dave Strider."

Together you entered the building. The first thing you saw was a dead body.  
Your first one.  
It was a blonde woman covered in blood. There were many stab marks on her back,and her face was freezed in a terrified expression.  
You kneeled down her. The blood was already curdled,and her hand was ice-cold. 

"Do you suspect anybody,Mr Strider?

-Not really. She is...erm...was my neighbour,and I even don't know her name. We've only met a couple times before. I think she was married,but I am not sure.

-Hmm. Let's see."

The woman had a purse in her hand. Carefully,you took it and looked inside. You found some make-up,knitting needles and a driver license belonging to Rose Lalonde,413 Frog Street,Altownia.

"You said she was married,right?

-Yes,she mentioned her husband once."

Dave looked down at the body.

"You...think he had...

-No,we can't say it now. Thank you Mr Strider for your help. Excuse me now."

You took your phone and called the morgue,tell them to take care of the body. Which means cut it in small pieces to find evidences. Then,you climbed two floors,before knocking at the door in front of Strider's.   
A young man opened it. You showed him your badge.

"Karkat Vantas,professional detective. I'm here to investigate about your wife's death.

-Oh. Come in."

He seemed very troubled. He sure had cried a lot; his eyes were red behind his square glasses. You sat down in front of him,and look at the boy closely.  
With the logo on his black shirt,you were sure he loved Ghostbusters. He had black messy hair,pointing buckteeth,and looked intimidated of you. Because you were a detective,of because you're a troll? You don't know.  
You took your notebook,and a piece of candy corn in your hat. 

"So,mister,what is your name and how old are you?

-John Egbert,28 years old.

-So,you were the husband of the victim,Rose Lalonde.

-Yes,since three years.

-Do you suspect anybody?

-Well,I don't have thought that anybody would have harmed her. She was very nice and gentle,always.

-Did she had any valuables,like jewels,or money?

-No,she just wore her wedding ring and a collar. And usually,she doesn't take her wallet when she goes to work."

You asked him some questions more. The first hypothesis is that he killed her for some reason. But while interrogating him,you noticed tears rolling down his eyes. Those wasn't fake,you knew it by experience. There also were many pictures of them together on the fireplace. For what he told you,they were an average couple,each happy with the other. No problems with the neighbours,there wasn't any reason for the poor Rose to be killed.  
Once you finished writing,you put the notebook and the pen in your large pocket,and took another piece of candy corn.

"Thank you very much,Mr Egbert. Those informations will be very helpful."

But before you left,he held your arm. You turned back at him. He seemed to hesitate.

"Mr Vantas,can...can I ask you something?

-Yes,of course.

-I don't know who did this. I don't know why. But what I know,it is I really want to help you.

-Yes,I can imagine it.

-But what I mean is...like,help you to investigate? I have good interpretation skills,and I'm not sure I could sleep until the murderer has been caught."

You looked at John. He was serious. After all,you're not against some help.

"You know,John,be a detective isn't easy. 

-I know. But I don't care how hard it is. I just want to find that bastard who killed my Rosie.

-It's a noble cause to avenge your wife. I can't deny it. Okay,Mr Egbert,you've got the job.

-Thank you very much. You can call me John."

To seal the deal,you offered him some candy corn,which he politely denied.  
After all,even the top problem sleuth in town (to be) could need help sometimes


	3. Bringing on the past

This is really a strange case',you thought. 'Why would that woman be killed? But it's too soon to say anything. Better wait to find more evdences,before try to...'

You bumped into something. Or should you say someone.

"Hey,Vantas,always so stupid,huh?

-Hello you too,Eridace Suchadick."

The troll didn't answered and walked away. John looked at you with interrogative eyes.

"It was just my stupid rival. Don't worry,he's a real pain,but he didn't solve any problem since a long time.

-I see."

You entered your office. It was tidy and clean,as always. You put your hat on the hanger,then sat behind your desk and opened your notebook. John sat on the couch (yeah,sometimes you must spend the night at your office) and looked through the window. You ate a piece of candy corn,then your phone rang. You answered it.

John could hear the voice of Karkat talking.  
''Mm. Yes. And? I see. Thank you."  
He hung up.

"Mr Egbert,the morgue just called. Now,we know the murderer is an average man who acts with a knife. No imprints,and nothing has been stolen. 

-Did anybody saw him?

-It happened at evening. When Mr Strider called,it was already too late. 

-But he told he saw somebody escape,right?

-I asked him about this. He only saw somebody running out of the building before himself could enter. It was dark,and he didn't saw his face.

-Nothing proves us that Strider didn't kill her himself.

-It's true,he could lie about it. But I don't think he has a reason to do it."

John was taking notes of their cconversation. He didn't want to miss anything important. Any detail could be the key of this mystery.  
They went on talking about it for what seemed to be hours. Karkat began to be tired,but when he glanced at John,he was sleeping. 'Poor boy',Karkat thought. 'After all,he deserves some rest. It isn't easy to loose someone we care for...'  
Karkat covered John with his green jacket,then get to the balcony. He sat on his chair as usual,and looked at the stars. They were very shiny this evening. Karkat remembered the first time he saw bright stars like this. It was a long time ago. When he lived with his father. He was about five sweeps old,about when he began to follow his footsteps. And now,he has become the top problem sleuth in the town (to be).   
But for another reason,he didn't wanted to remember this night. This memory brought an other,this one very awful.  
The blood. The gunshots. The screams of panic and terror. And his face. This black face,this scar,this bloodthirsty look he had...  
You didn't want to remember. But someday,you'll need to.  
John was whispering in his sleep. You couldn't understand,but he had a terrified voice.   
Does he remember too?  
You took some candy corn,and went back to your desk. You tried to understand what was going on. Not only in the case,but in your life too. You failed since long to find it a meaning,except to save lost ladies. Or lost widower too.  
Without thinking,you sat down on the floor,next to him. You could hear him hardly breathe,and this sound was kinda relaxing.

'I think that somehow,you're just like me.'

Maybe John could give to Karkat what the troll was looking for.


	4. New answers to the same questions

She screamed again. Dang it,couldn't she just once shut up?

"Quick,John,go look for her!

-Right!"

He jumped upstairs. The man was already running outside,with a bag full of money and stuff. But you were faster,and caught him up in no time. You rushed on the burglar and tackled him on the ground. Then you put him solid manacles.  
Housebreakings weren't very common,and if you were a detective,it doesn't mean you were not an action man. The police was already here. You gave them the man,then went back to John. He was trying to calm the lady who called. But to no avail. You knew what to do in this case.  
You asked John to push away,then sat next to this nervous Broadia and put your arms around her. You hold her from behind,let her head lay on your chest,then began your strange noise. She suddenly stopped crying and screaming,and seemed relaxed by your odd purring sound. Or what looked like a purr. John was watching you doing,and couldn't hold a giggle.  
You did this so many times,you were surprised it still worked. Nobody could resist you. Every women was falling in your arms. Though you did this for professional purrposes only. You mean purposes. You didn't have time for the feelings.  
They were gone since years.

\---

"You weren't bad at all,John. I'm very proud of you.

-Thank you,Mr Van...Karkat. All I want is to help you.

-Go on and you'll be a true problem sleuth.

-Nah,be an apprentice is cool too. Though I'm not really one."

You filled in the usual paper,then put it on your desk. John wasn't only willing to help you with the R.L case,but with the others too. You can't investigate on a murder and helping ladies in the same time,and you would never let Eridace Dickface steal your "dames". They needed a charismatic man to save them,not an asshole face.

"Karkat?

-Yeah?

-I was wondering...what thas...this thing you made earlier...

-You mean my noises?

-Erm...yes.

-It's a thing trolls can make. It can calm anybody,even a weasel who's flipping the fuck out. I use it since long."

You then sat on the couch,next to John,and took some candy corn,letting him have some. You then thought about the murder of Rose Lalonde.  
'About nine p.m. On the building entrance. No witnesses. Four knife marks in the back set two by two. The killer is strong and wise,but wasn't very accurate. He acts with sharp and strangely curved knives. For what Strider says,the killer is tall,wears black clothes and a mask. Can't tell if troll or human. Was seen for the last time on Frog Street. Didn't seem to have any other victims,except for the wife of John Egbert. Maybe-  
''Karkat?

-Hmm? What is it,John?

-You're purring again.''

He was right. Your throat was vibrating,but this time,you didn't wanted to. You haven't even noticed.

"Oh. Sorry,I was thinking about many things. The day was hard. Now,we should have some rest.

-If you say so. Good night.

-Good night."

You let John on the couch,and went to your room next to the office. Yoy lied down on your spare matress,then closed your eyes.  
In fact,you know why you reacted like that. But you didn't told John.  
It was because you thought of his name.


	5. Memories of a turnpoint

You couldn't sleep. So you decided to have a walk outside.  
John was already sleeping. You told him to stay here some days,to avoid the scene where the crime took place,and so many tears. You let a note on the desk with two pieces of candy corn,then put your hat on your head,horns in the holes as usual.  
In the corridor,you met the purple-blooded asshole.

"Aw,dear Vantas,you shouldn't let your human baby alone in the dark,right? This moral coward lacks a manly spark,and you too.

-I love you too,sweetheart. And my human's a wise bird,you cute night owl.

-I'll bring you home some milk in the morning. Baby milk,of course.

-You always sing this same fucking old song. Stop being a douche."

Your conversations were always like that. Looking like a hate song,which notes were dancing like hungry bats looking for blood. No,seriously,they looked like a song.  
After some minutes more arguing,he finally left.

"I'll be the top problem sleuth in the town,and you know it,Vantas.

-You can still try."

He put his hat on his head,then walked outside. His hat...there was something on it. Not the same silly black and blue stripes,but another color. A strange,tiny red stain,near the horn holes. Duh,this fool loved so much strawberry jelly,he was putting it everywhere he could. You looked at your watch. 20:29. The shop was closing at 21:00,so you should hurry if you wanted your usual sandwich. Oh,and remember to get some candy corn,your bad is almost empty.

\---

'Dad,where are we going? Where are we?

-Don't worry,dear,we're close. And I won't tell you. Today's your birthday,remember?

-It's a big gift,right dad? Right?

-Nothing~'

Then he parked the car. You were so excited,you jumped out of it. Then,you suddenly saw it.  
The sea.  
All blue,large and deep,she was like a gigantic bird extending its wings to the sky,and lying on the white sand. There were shells,and clams everywhere on the beach. At your feet,there was a crab. An alive one,not like your plush. And in your hand,a whole pack of candy corn.

'Happy fourth Wriggling Day,Karkat.'

You hugged him with all your love. Your dad was the best dad of the world. Even with his work,he could spare a day only for you,and play with you in the water,to find crabs,seaweed,or just splashing. At the end of the day,you were both soaked and exhausted,but you were happy. Very happy. Then,he put his own hat on your head.

'You're like a real detective',he said.

'I'm just like you.'

That was true. You were a little detective,like your dad. He was so much a good detective many people were calling him the Problem Sleuth,though you didn't know what it means. Together,you lied down on the sand. The sunset was really beautiful for the season. You closed your eyes,and your father took you in his arms. There was a warmth,sure and safe. You felt secure with him. You didn't wanted him to leave. Never.

After a long time,you walked back to the car,eating candy corn. Dad promised a cake after a good dinner tonight. You were still happy,happy he's here for you.  
Suddenly you heard stranges noises. Someone running. Motor sounds.  
A man runned to you. He was a tall Dersite,with dark clothes and a scar on his eye. He was holding a gun.  
Then he aimed at your dad,and screamed:

'Give me your car! Now!

-W...what?

-Give or I shot you down!'

Your father slowly put the hand in his pocket to take the key out. Then in a flash,a gun appeared in his hand,and shot at the man. But he missed. You screamed in panic,and protected your head with your arms. You heard another shot. And suddenly,your father falled on the ground.  
He had a red hole in his chest. His clothes were covered in blood.  
You screamed again. The black man noticed you,then you heard a police siren coming. He climbed in your dad's car,then drove away like a madman. Without more thinking,you picked up your father's gun and shot at the car. Two times. The first missed,the second made the window explode. But the thief escaped.

'K...Kar...'

You turned back. Your father was hardly trying to raise his hand. You drop the gun and took his hand in yours. Tears were coming from his face.

'I...know it's hard...

-Dad...please...don't go...

-I'm...so sorry,Kat...'

His bloodied mouth had a weak,last smile. 

'I...love you...my little crab...'he hardly whispered.

You buried your head in his chest. You too were now covered in blood,the blood of your father.

'I love you too...Dad.'

The sirens shut. You heard footsteps coming,voices telling you it was ok,asking you things,but you didn't care. You felt your red tears staining your face. With your father,all your life was gone. Everything happened so fast. You thought about the gun. You have aimed,you have shot. Did you touched the black man? But whatever the result was,you have shot. You were only four sweeps old,and today,your father died,you used a gun to harm someone,and you knew that today,your childhood did not have the right to exist anymore.  
You were still holding this ice-cold hand. The safe warmth was now gone forever. But while holding it,you remembered that the hat was on your head,and what your said.

'I'm like you.'

Rain drops were falling. And in the cold of the evening,you realized what you had to do.  
You let the body to the policemen,and picked up the silvered gun. It was very heavy in your little hand. When they tried to take it,you hid it in your pocket. Then you looked at your father's body for the last time.

'Am I a man now,Father?'

\---

"Karkat.''

No answer.

''Karkat,please wake up."

You grinned. The sunlight made your eyes open. John was still caalling your name,in hope to wake you up.

"Oh,John.

-Karkat,I was worried a lot. I heard you crying and calling your father. Did you have a nightmare?''

You remembered. The dream. It was all a dream.

''Nope. An usual dream.

-Oh,poor boy...Come here.''

He hugged you. His body was warm,and his arms were safe. Just like someone's. To show your happiness,you would like to purr,but something blocked you. Instead,you began to cry. John cuddled you closer,and was saying soft words that made you feel better. He the took a piece of candy corn in your pocket,and put it between your lips. It was very effective,but you couldn't stop to hug him.  
Even John's scent looked like his'. You buried your head in his chest. You,the top problem sleuth in town (to be),were crying like a grub.  
But real men can open their heart too.  
John hold you even closer. He knew you were suffering and why. So,in a fatherly manner aand thought you were older than him,he kissed your forehead.  
For a moment,you were again four sweeps old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this AUverse, Prospitians and Dersites are humans with a birth condition that makes their skin as hard as a shell.   
> Karkat's adopted. Most likely.


	6. Red tears on bloodied fists

After this sweet embrace,you let John's arms to get outside and allow him to sleep. Some cold wind will make you feel better.  
In the corridor,you heard a voice.

"Yes…sure it is. It worked."

It was ED's. Slowly,you opened his office door,and saw him talking to the phone. Good thing, he was looking at the window. But what he was saying was strange.

"He didn't noticed. You were right,he's really a douche. What?... Oh,of course. Yeah,Lalonde didn't survive. This bitch is weak as a fly."

Lalonde? Wait…Eridace Dick didn't knew about Rose. You listened again.

"Hmm. Yes. Your trick works,it's fabulous. I didn't knew I could do that,especially with my horns. And even if I go to jail,nobody will find you. But Vantas cannot catch me. Vantas? Yes,the son of the Problem Sleuth you shot down."

You gasped. This dick was talking to your father's murderer!  
He turned back. You hid behind the door. Then,he said another thing to the phone.

"Sure. If he can't catch the killer,it will be a disgrace for him. And I'll be finally the best problem sleuth in the city. With my influence,you'll be free to come back. Together,we'll rule over all Altownia!"

He laughed. An evil laugh. You couldn't stand it anymore,and you rushed on him. You took him by the shoulders and tackled him on his desk.

"Where? Where is thart bastard you're talking!

-I dunno what you're talking about,Vantas."

You then ditched him on the ground,and took the phone.

"Listen,you jerk. If I find you,I'll kill you and paint all my room with your blood,even my words!!!"

The voice was cold,very cold. And so familiar.

"Listen to me,youngster. I already killed your father and if I wanted to,I would have shot you down too. If you ever try to find me,this time I'll not escape.

-You think I'm scared?!? We'll see who will find the other first! And don't worry,I practiced with my gun. Just one bullet right in the head will be enough to avenge my father,YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

But he hung up before you could finish your sentence. You throwed the phone on the ground and kicked E.D in the ribs.

"Now,where is he? Answer me! Or I'll cut your horns and burst your eyes with it!"

He spited some purple blood. What made you furious,is this bastard was smiling.

"My horns,huhh? You mean like I did with Lalonde,just for fun?"

It was obvious. The curved knives,the red spot on his hat...  
He had killed Rose. But also...he made John desperate. You then began to punch him in the face,again and again,to kick his whole body,even his horns. He screamed in pain,but you did not stop. The rage was burning in you,like a fire destroying all a forest. At your feet,Eridace was just a bloodied rag,crying,screaming like a wiggler,a wiggler you would like to tear the body apart,and throw its parts in the fire.  
But you realized he was just a subordinate,and was following the orders of someone else. You let him fall on his own blood,and walked out his office.

"W...where...are you...going?

-Find your 'master' and kill him.

-W...wait! Please...don't...leave me l...like this! I...can't even...move...

-You deserved it. Help a criminal to rule on this town,it's fucking inconsiderable of a problem sleuth. You'll sure be banned from them.

-W...whatev..ver...You can't...find him...without me..."

He tried to stand up,but couldn't. His glasses,half of his teeth and a horn were broken.

"S. knows... where to hide.''

S.? It reminded you of a famous criminal,some years ago. His name was Slick,or at least the one he was known under. You ignored Eridace and went back to your office. John was still woken up.

"Karkat! I heard you screaming,is...everything ok?"

You didn't knew what to answer. You couldn't explain why you were covered in blood,why you were crying,why you were hugging him like a lost child.  
Finally you spoke.

"John... I got the guilt. But we'll need to be careful.

-I'll do everything you need,Karkat."

\---

You hung up the phone. So,the young Vantas is chasing you,right? You remembered him. A little scary boy,nothing else. But really good at firearms. His bullet went in your arm. You still got the wound.  
You took off your glasses. He could come,you're waiting for him.

\---

"Karkat...would you mind if we talk?

-Hmmm?

-Why...did you beat him the fuck out?"

Two doctors were taking E.D away,while you were busy talking with policemen. You told them that the guilt was in cahoots with Eridace since it all started. Then you got sit down on your couch for a couple minutes before John talked you.

"I don't know."

You couldn't tell him the truth. Not now. Even if it hurted.

"It's true. I don't know. But it doesn't matter anymore. Now,we'll show this bastard who'll win. Right?"

He took your hand,and stared at you. Then he smiled.

"I'll go everywhere,but only with you."


	7. Blades, secrets and kisses

You put some bullets in your gun,then packed it in your holster. John looked at the window. It was still night outside,though it was five to ten hours. Then,you took your hat,and sat on your desk. They were still interrogating Eridace Dick next door. But he was totally knocked out and had difficulties to wake up.

"Okay,maybe I hit too hard.",you said.

John had a laugh.

"Maybe? This guy has lost many teeth because of your fists. And a horn."

They didn't found the broken horn,by the way. Because you kept it as a trophy,in your pocket. The smell of human blood was still on it,but you would really like to make a necklace with it. Show it to Slick,and draw scars on the other eye too. But first you needed to find him,and nobody knew where.

"Karkat?",John asked.

"Yeah?

-If...if we don't succeed to our mission...what will happen?

-I don't know. But don't worry,we'll do it. We're gonna kick some ass today.

-But...this guy's like the Godfather? I mean,if he got the sea dweller,he could have anybody under his orders,right?

-It's why we'll be careful."

You stood up,and get near him on the balcony. There wasn't any wind outside,and still many clouds.

"Karkat...

-It'll be ok,John. I'm with you,remember?

-I know. It's just...I don't wanna see you die.

-Come oooon,you think I'm this weak? I'm the top problem sleuth in the town,remember.

-To be."

You both laughed. At least,John wasn't frowning anymore,and it helped you feel better too. You loved his smile. It was a great,handsome smile which made you happy. Really happy. 

"Hmmm...Kat?

-Huh?

-You're...purring again."

Shit. You were maybe a bit too happy. And also,you noticed he called you Kat. Not Karkat. Just like...someone used to,sweeps ago. Thinking about him,you felt very sad. Then,a hand on your shoulder.

''I'm sorry,John. It's just...I don't feel like it right now.

-You don't have to."

Your faces were close. So close from each other,they were almost touching. But none of you noticed it,until you felt John's breath on your cheek. It made you blush,then you became serious again wwhen someone called you.

"Mister Vantas?"

It was the Pickle Inspectavros,who was in charge of the paperwork.

"Yes?

-Mister Eridace finally talked. The guilt was located at 612th,Skaiavenue.

-Tell the others we're going."

\---

The police car was driving through Altownia,followed by two others. Was it so hard to solve a murder problem? Yes of course,it's yourt first one,so you'll just blame your lack of experience. But,if what John said is right,you'll deal with the mafia's boss. Or just a little fucker who likes to mess with people.  
John was sitting next to you. He was scared. You felt his hand holding yours,and smiled. With him at your side,you weren't scared anymore. 

"John?

-Hum?

-You didn't said a word since we're gone.

-I'm scared. I don't know what'll be next.

-Don't worry. I'll protect you at any costs.

-You don't have."

The sirens shut,and the car parked. The adress indicated a big,ancient house in the luxe boroughs. This one was bis as a mansion,with many levels,and huge front doors.  
You told orders to your men,then picked your gun. If you wanted to have a surprise effect,you'll need to go alone. The others would watch nobody escapes,and intervene if needed.  
John followed you while you slowly entered the portal door. They gave him a spare gun,but he was shivering,you couldn't tell if of cold or fear.  
Then,you entered the house.  
There was nobody around.

"Dang,it's so huge here.

-We separate ourselves?

-No,maybe it's what Slick wants. Follow my footsteps and be careful."

You headed upstairs.  
Suddenly,bullets whistled in the air.  
You tackled John on the ground to not being teared by gunshots.  
A man jumped out the door,shotgun in hand. He tried to kil you,but John was faster,and shot him in the leg. He kneeled down screaming in pain,then you kicked his rifle out of his hands and grabbed his black suit.

"Where's your boss? Where?

-N...nothing."

You slapped him. And unlike E.D,he was more cooperative after only some hits.

"Upstairs. Mister S. is waiting for you."

You and John headed upward. But your pal had the good reflex to take the rifle with him before.  
Here were again some brutes. In no time they were just bloodied bodies.  
It lasted for two floors,then the stairs headed to a door. A red and gold one. You knew behind was the one you were looking for.  
Without waiting the reinforts,you kicked the door to open it.

It wasn't dark like the other rooms,but lighten up by two high lamps. On the floor lied a black fur curtain,and there were many pictures on the walls. On the other side of the great room was a large window with red silk curtains. And in front of it,was sitting someone in a salon chair. But you pnly saw his back,and when he talked,his voice was ice cold.

"Hello,my dear guests. Hope the travel was good."

You aimed your gun to his direction,ready to fire.

"Oh,my darling Vantas,it's impolite to kill someone while he isn't looking. I didn't expected that of you. 

-Very good one,Mister S. Or should I say...Slick?

-Hey,not so fast. Let me first introduce myself."

He stood up,then walked around his desk and faced you. You recognized him at first sight.

"It...it's impossible! I saw you,you were a Dersite!

-It was one of my henchmen. Do you really think I'd be that little careful ?"

John didn't trust his eyes. Neither you. In front of you, the man put on his sunglasses.

"Wait,you didn't know that the S. also means Strider?"

\---

Dave Strider. The so-called innocent neighbour of the victim,who didn't saw E.D's face in the light of the streetlamps,who was always calm and quiet when you interrogated him,was the Godfather-alike.

"Did you saw a ghost,Vantas? During all this time you were so close to the one who killed your father,can you imagine? It was so funny to see you crying!"

He laughed. But before you could pull the trigger,you saw a katana's blade on John's neck.

"Don't try,or say him goodbye.

-K...Karkat...let me and kill him...",John whispered.

You never wanted John to be in danger. And now was a real dillemma.

"Or maybe you want me to kill you both? You'll be happy ever after in the Afterlife."

While talking,he was taking the rifle away and playing with the blade. You saw a blood tear sliding on it. John was in the hands of this killer. You had to act.

"Strider,who do you want,me or him? Let him go and take me instead.

-Karkat,no!

-You made the good choice."

He pushed John on the ground and before you could understand what happened,he took your gun and clutched your throat. Your head hit the wall.

"Nobody will evert stop me,Vantas. Especially not you."

You felt his fingers digging in your flesh like pointy blades. You knew you were bleeding. There came the pain. Your lungs were asking for air,but the vise of his hand was made of steel.

'I'm sorry,John.'

Strider laughed. John was merely knocked out,but he was seeing you slowly die. His eyes were full of tears.  
But all of a sudden,Dave released you.  
His evil smile disappeared. Instead,there was pain on his face.  
He falled on the ground. In his chest was now a red hole.  
Karkat was holding a broken bloodstained horn in his hand.  
Lost at his own game.

"Kat,are you ok?

-And you?"

The two pals were lying at the opposite sides of the room. Slowly,they get to each other.

''Is...Dave dead?

-I think.

-I was so scared for you,Karkat.

-Me too."

The boys sat on the ground in front of each other. They were both covered in blood,or tears. Without hesitation,you hugged John tight.

"We're still alive. It's all that matt-"

But you couldn't finish your sentence,because he suddenly kissed you.  
His hands slowly climbed up your back to your head,before gently rubbing your horns. You felt lke a thousand butterflies in your stomach,and released your deepest purr ever. You then kissed him again,everywhere you could,and still purring like a kitten.  
It's next to a dead torso,in a weird mansion,that you finally confessed your love for each other.

'Are you proud of me,father?'


	8. Epilogue: Days pass by, but love remains

'The Team Sleuth busted another mystery this evening!  
Today,at 8:46 pm,the world-known detectives Karkaat Vantas and John Egbert arrested the leader of a drug traffic in Altownia suburbs.'

Then came the photos of you both,the paragraphs of heroic description of the scene,and so many. You put the newspaper on the desk,and took your coffee (after adding some candy corn liquor). The birds were singing outside,though the sun was still low in the summer sky. You walked to the balcony,and watched the town before you.  
After the Strider case,they had wanted to give you a better office,but you denied. You were used to this one,now covered in flowers sent by ladies,some newspaper articles on the wall,and on your desk,a framed picture of you two. You were both smiling,in each other's arms. It was a sweep ago,soon after you created a real team with your beloved one. Those were the good times.  
John entered the room. He had inherited of Eridace Dick's office,while this guy had his own cell in jail,but still lived in his flat. You often came to see him,talking about the news,cases,etc. And sometimes sleep. In his bed. With him. He greeted you with a kiss,and gave you today's papers. Another mad guy trying to kill everyone.

''Crazy.

-Yeah. Put your hat on,darling,we have to go.

-Only with you,sweetheart."

Laughs. Smiles. Sincerity.  
You love him. You will love him until your last breath. And he loves you too.  
Sometimes,he'd fall asleep in your arms. You would rub his hair gently,kiss his cheeks,holding him close to you. The Matespritism you shared with him was very intense, and couldn't be broken. Never.  
One day,while walking in the streets,you noticed that a new shop opened. A jewelry. And since this afternoon,John never took off the cute blue ring you bought him. He saw this as a proposal,and you did too. John was still sad about Rose,but needed to turn the page,and begin to love again.  
After your 'marriage',he invited you to live with him. By day you would love him, by night you would desire him. Desire so hard that it burned you from the inside,and turned your nights into a blaze of love.  
Between two missions,you had the time to share a personal time. You would stay in his arms for who knows how long, while he stroked your horns, and told you he loved you. You would purr,you would smile.  
And just after you arrested the crazy killer, as always, you looked at each other's eyes, and only saw happiness. After all these hardships, it was a relief to finally be happy.  
You loved him.

It took you some time, and much thought about it, but after many unsuccessful tries, life has blessed both of you with a wonderful child. A human boy, with very small horns and much energy, which you named after your own grandfather. 

As the Portals were closing all across the country, stopping you from ever seeing the Alternia you were born in, you decided that staying in the human world was everything you ever wanted. You had a job, a family, and were respected in society. Everything was going the way you wanted. 

You had to make sure it would stay that way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and John are the biological fathers of Kyle from [The Kingdoms' Cancer](http://archiveofourown.org/works/918733) and [Like Angels of a Feather](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1779610).  
> They died in an arson, which was most likely a hate crime, leaving their only son to the foster care of family friends.


End file.
